fdds

Antonio G.Fernandez

Publications           The following journals all have First North American Serial Rights 

SFSU's literary Journal- 14 Hills-Volume 13.2

        No Wonder You Were Afraid to Ask

SDSU's Literary journal- Redlit Magazine-Volume 2

        The End of All Cliches

Pemmican Press -The best in political poetry-Archived

         Genesis of Poesia

         El Dia Sin Los Inmagraciones (May 1st, 2006)

WordRiot -January 2007

        Smash All the Clocks

        When Kingdom Comes Undone

The Smoking Poet-Winter 2007

        Who's Watching Over the Gods so They Don't Hurt Us

        Alphabet Sloop

Merge Poetry -Spring/Summer 08

        Faux-lk Tale

          It Only Makes Sense When You  Look at it Cross-Eyed

 

Poetry

From Nowhere to Nothing

Genesis of Poesia

Blood   Brothers

Faux-lk Tale  

In Dog We Trust

Without Words a lot of Things Wouldn’t Exist

Do You Mind Sleeping In?

You Don’t Make it Easy  

Autopsy of a Life Deferred  

If I Ever Grow Up  

El Dia sin Los Inmagraciones (May 1st, 2006)

In a Minute of Dreams  

If You Get Me Drunk I Might Dance  

What the Hell’s a Lexicon!  

Just Because We Don’t Understand

I Take the Blame for Writing This

A Bird or a Plane?

Genesis of Poesía                                     Pemmican Press First North American Serial Rights      

        1.      In  the days before Neruda transformed the line and the word

2.      the poem resembled an empty vacuum and beggars searched under the ocean, while a light from space crawled through the infinite darkness.

3.      Suddenly Pablo jotted down, “Make Letters form words;” and words became thoughts.

4.      And Pablo asked that the wind stand still; and Pablo borrowed the beauty from the flowers.

5.      Pablo named the tree vida, and the rain he named sangre.  And time became silence and mind became motion the right way.

6.      and Pablo composed, “Let peace make a home in the eye of the war, and let it shelter the enemy from his anger.”

7.      So Pablo tamed the killers and bathed the wounded who trudged on the roads from the lands that encircled the globe. And time stood still. 

8.      Pablo named the birds felicidad.  And eagles spread wings and doves took flight, the primitive journey.

9.      And Pablo recorded, “Permit the beggars around the garbage be taken openly into every home, and make the saddened heart disappear.” And time stood still. 

10.  Pablo named the mighty wind musica, and the clouds that formed paintings together he named el obra maestra.  And Pablo knew that it created happiness. 

11.  Soon after Pablo wrote down, “Allow the meek to have riches: hearts bearing love, and a brain with knowledge in it.”  And thoughts broke out.

12.  The blind witnessed visions: rainbows created arches of unknown colors, and spirits of past ancestors reveled in the mystery of them.  And Pablo noted that it created esperanza. 

13.  And earth started spinning and time started moving, la primera danza.

14.  And Pablo continued,  “Make earth bathe in the pool of the universe to baptize the good into the evil; and grant them faith and for minutes and for seasons and centuries.

15.  and help them to change in the shadow of the moon to spread hope upon the ground.” And the earth bore fruit.

16.  Pablo created the most profound poetry—the inner gift to calm the mind and the natural ability to right the wrong—and the words.

17.  Pablo planted them in the depths of the ground to spread brotherhood upon the earth, to dance around the mind and burn through the soul, and to create the idea from nothing. And Pablo mended broken dreams.

                                                                                                Return to top

Without Words a lot of Things Wouldn’t Exist

 

Without words

war wouldn’t exist

            table

dog

            chair

might be names

for children

toys

            maybe nicknames

for flowers

 

children

            toys

and flowers

names for stones

diamond

            a name

for the hair in your nose.

 

Sentences might sound like this:

 

In diamond the as dog’s backbone

sprayed grass giraffe

translated in the future

means:

            what happened to our earth,

am I  alone on this planet?

           

Snowflake banana song

might mean

is this the Garden of Eden?  

                                                                                                    Return to top

                                                                                        

Dear Mr. Postman/God

 

1.

            That one thing

that you’ll be remembered

            for

is happening

            right now

yesterday

                        tomorrow

            never.

Suicide

            These moments 

2.

And,

            when that

instant/instance

shows itself,     

I’ll write it on

            an envelope

a napkin

            toilet paper.

            Over

the bump of a vein

            or

seven new wrinkles

on the back of my hand.

Ink rivulets

            in skin

            ballpoint rivers

drain into

a delta

not to be forgotten                                                                                           

            crevasse memo

tributary note

3.

—Return to sender

insufficient postage

            moved—

we don’t live here anymore—

than

you .

                                                                                            Return to top

Created in Someone’s Image

 

One touch of the backspace key

on my computer

and civilizations are wiped out.

Dreams flatten,

Oceans dry up,

Roses turn black,

Angels drop like flies

Spinning,

dying on their backs.

Hope is deleted

Love letters not sent

Poems unwritten,

Marriages of words

Dissolve.

Songs screech to a halt

and back-up.

Famous writers

eat out of trashcans.

Deer graze out of reach

of stalking tigers.

Suns never set.

                                                                                                    Return to top

                                                                                                     Return to top

If I Ever Grow Up

 

If I could be anything

I would be a bubble floating

from the o-shaped mouth

of a child.

 

Bouncing on air

full of life

a sphere of breath

going nowhere far

creating joy on my journey

the end of me

a silent pop

filled with a child’s giggle.

                                                                                                         Return to top

In a Minute of Dreams

 

I’m the detached

deaf ears

dangling

from a soldier’s sweaty neck

in Vietnam.

 

Auschwitz

            my skin

leaks shadows

on the wall

of a Nazi making love

the night before it all ends.

 

In the empty Sahara

            last grain of sand

            holding on for dear life—

brushed to the floor

rolled underneath the bed

flicked by the bogeyman

            picked up by the sandman

crushed

turned to dust—

            sprinkled into

a young girl’s eyes.

 

Turn over on my pillow

slobber runs

down my cheek

turn,

slurp,

wipe.

 

A long hallway before me

a door marked Africa.

 

My mother kisses my forehead—

 

            wake up—

a lion roars.  

                                                                                                    Return to top

If Dreams Overlap

 

When people wear other people

and reality takes over sanity

 

people break into halves

then again.

 

Tears are no measurement

for human sadness.

 

Words

undermine

everything that I write from here on out

 

things like—

 

if nothing had a name


you naked

 

            could mean

Candice smiling.

                

                                                                                                 Return to top

                                                                                                       

Do You Mind Sleeping In?

 

Today you may wake up

and realize

that you like me a little less.

 

I may feel the same

but,

that is just me

pushing you away.

 

The toughest thing

is push never comes to shove

it is used best

to hold up the wall

between us. 

                                                                                                         Return to top

Watch Your Shadow Dance Away

                                    Do something boring

 

Paint cobwebs

in the corners of your ceilings.

Have the mirror

look into you.

Erase the first line

of the love letter you’re writing.

Try to stop your heart.

 

Read a book backwards

From the last letter

to the first.

Rub the soap with your skin.

Fertilize the lawn

with shampoo.

 

Uncomb your hair

Untie your shoes

Drive backwards to work

looking forward.

Make your clock run

counter clock-wise

Sleep under your bed

with the boogeyman.

 

Don’t smile in a photo

don’t say cheese.

Eat dry spaghetti.

Don’t find your keys.

Look into someone’s

eyes and tell them

you pick your nose

and love it.

 

Put out your cigarette

with gasoline

while holding it

with your toes.

                                                                                                         Return to top

A Bird or a Plane?

 

On the news the other day,

I heard about a family

gathered at the dining room table.

 

A UFO rocketed through the roof

exploded their meal

 into a buffet of chaos.

 

The FAA claimed it was human excrement

that had not disintegrated properly

after the plane had emptied its bowels

all over the earth.

 

Others interviewed

thought it was just a sudden,

 unexplainable,

sprinkle

on a cloudless day.

                                                                                                       Return to top

                                                                                                      

What the Hell’s a Lexicon?                                 Return to top  

 

If I was going to write a poem

about my lexicon— a word I’d never use,

it will probably start

like I started this poem.

 

I’d write:

my lexicon isn’t big

but it does the job.

It isn’t the size that matters

but the motion

in my elocution.

 

I like small words like

beer, shit, and sun.

Speaking in big words is too much work,

like walking uphill—

both ways.

Most people don’t understand anyway.

The big words I use are

pornography, motherfucker, and love.

 

 I’m exhausted.

 

I wipe the sweat off my forehead

and write the only words I know.

 

If this is my lexicon

there’s nothing I can do

but display it proudly

and hope the ladies don’t laugh

when they take it all in.

                                                                                                    Return to top

Autopsy of a Life Deferred

 

When determining the cause of death,

Medical Investigators label it one of five ways:

 

Accidental—­

Didn’t mean to.

Suicide—

Meant it.

Homicide—

Passion, Rage.

Undetermined—

Lack of knowledge.

Natural—

Maybe old age.

 

I bet mine will be accidental.

No!

Suicide.

No!

Homicide.

No!

Natural.

No!

Undetermined.

 

Maybe I’ll explode!

 

An

accidental

suicidal

 homicidal

                                                            naturally

undeterminable

                                                                                   

death.

                                                                                                                 Return to top

Closet Poet

 

This is how the poets

get all the girls.

 

First of all,

“Do that many men

not share their feelings

 

that we have to leave

pleasing our women

to the pansy ass poets?”

 

“What does that say

about us?”

 

“Flowers get all the girls

humans get nothing but

heartache from poetry.”

                                                                                                     Return to top

In Dog We Trust

 

If we proclaimed dogshit money

kennels would become banks—

milk bones

investments

shoe bottoms—checkbooks

lawns—mints.   

 

We’d all become

hounds or bitches

sniffing rear-ends

for  a withdrawal

making deposits instead

with no interest—

doggie-style economy.

 

Litters of young stockbrokers—

house—

broke.

 

If dogshit was money—

a dollar’s worth

            would still be worth a dollar

but,

you would never have to worry

about where you step.

                                                                                                            Return to top

I Watched My Brother Slowly Die

 

…and,

            I couldn’t  do

anything about it—

nothing.

—muscle deteriorates

under

the weight of gravity

—brain cells slip away

            out of sight

take memory chunks

            (the past)

oozes up through pores

            resurfaces

on the back of a hand

as sweat

evaporates

into rain.

 

Eyes

tell millenniums of stories

souls

upon

souls

            layers of skin

wrapped tight

around houses of bones

surround

out of tune organs.

 

Single notes                 

that need each other—

 

refrain.

                                                                                                            Return to top

Blood Brothers

 

Abuelos, padres, hermanos, hijos

in a row, shoulder to shoulder

trembling fear transmitted

from one soul to the next

never question their decision

already committed.

At the end of a rifle

one purpose

so their sons will never be there, ever

at the rifle’s end or bullet’s rigid kiss.

 

Silent sun rising.

Dew dripping like blood off the grass.

Clouds cover heaven’s eyes.

Death’s aroma resounds

in the singing vultures overhead.

 

Ready,

aim,

fire!

Triggers are depressed

bullets dance a morbid jig

leading the procession

a parade of death.

 

Proud Men slump.

Scared men collapse.

Honorable and dignified men

cease to exist.

Pre-determined

non-negotiable

skillfully planned out

executed.

 

A plot of land excavated.

Men poured in.

Hombres orgullosos.

Hombres asustados.

Hombres honorables y dignificados.

Corpse upon corpse

heads upon chests

arms upon legs.

Cast in the red soiled dirt.

 

Eyes can’t tell the difference

once the earth’s blanket is tucked in.

Souls drowning

in a crimson lake of silt.

 

There, so their sons

will never have to form

that same chain link

only to be broken.

                                                                                                                Return to top

El Dia Sin Los Inmagraciones (May 1st, 2006)  

Pemmican Press First North American Serial Rights  

 

Build your 700-mile wall

North/South America

New Germany

            a great wall

keeping in

            something

that is not

half as good as

what is on the other side

but, you can’t see this

don’t want to.

 

Just wait.

 

We’re building

ladders

            high enough

to reach the heavens

 

We will fall

            like angels

onto the other side

and save you.

                                                                                                         Return to top

Just Because We Don’t Understand

 

            the way the wooden wheel

turns—

sloshes through

a puddle of slain

sadness.

 

A world

wrapped tight

in gray wool

hung from long beards.

           

A Holy Land.

                                                                                                                 Return to top

                                                                                                             Return to top

I Do Like Surprises

 

Quit doing that to me

put away those eyes

always watching

merry-go-round mind

            seesaw brain

balance an egg on the

fingertip of an angel

 

Take off that smile

            that has saved me

more times

than you even know

you want to hide it,

pull it out for special occasions

maybe someday

on that holiday

of your happiness

you will pull it out

put it back where it fits best

and the world smiles

at the same time

because of you.

 

Let me crawl into your mind

pull the lever

that makes you smile—

I guess I look all right

through your eyes.

 

I didn’t know

you ache

when you see me—

            an icky ache

the kind that makes people

wonder how cruel

the creator was

who invented love.

 

Laughter must be like breathing

in the heaven of that wicked creature

who knew that men and women

men and men

women and women

just cannot get along

 

but,

that’s all right

for tonight.

 

I am going to sit up here

with my hand on this lever

watch you smile in your sleep

hope that it is because of me.

 

I vowed when I met you

but you didn’t know it

            that I would always have my

hand on that lever

every once in a while

I fall asleep.

 

I will never know the key

to what makes you smile,

I never will.

 

I decided not too long ago

yesterday

a year ago

while you read this

to give myself to you.

 

Take what you want of me,

I won’t miss a leg

            an eye

the shape of my words

            this poem that

fits you like a dress.

                                                                                                                Return to top  

You Don’t Make it Easy